Sarah Burningham: Teen Author

A New Teen Speak Dictionary for Parents - Will it Work?

I just read this article from BBC News in the UK about a new online dictionary for parents of teenagers. It's defines some "typical" teen words for parents so they can understand what they're teenagers are saying. It's a good idea in theory, but I wonder if teens change up their slang too quickly for a "dictionary" (what they call the "jargon buster") like this...all the teens I know move so fast when it comes to what's cool and what's not. I wonder if the dictionary will be able to keep up.

What you do OR what you say?

You know that saying "actions speak louder than words?" Well, it's true for parents, too. I mean how many times has your mom said not to talk on your cell phone while driving but she chats away on the freeway? If parents expect teens to really do what they say they're going to (or not), then they also need to. Not only will it help your communication (which one survey says is not so good) it's just the right thing to do.

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
I have a question. Ok. I'm a twin and my mom always makes us do the same things.
Even if one of us wants to do something and the other doesn't want to, she makes both of us do it.
Plus, my younger sister gets her own room while we have to share just because we're twins.
Really the only thing that we do separately is birthday parties. What should I do?

- Jeanette

Sarah Says:
Dear Jeanette,
I'm so glad you wrote. I think a lot of twins go through the same thing you are going through and they aren't sure what to do. Your question is definitely an important one!
 

I think parents tend to keep twins together because it's easy. You know, they changed your diapers together, and fed you together, so in their minds, it makes sense to keep you doing the same things as you get older. Only, it doesn't really make sense, because as you get older you become very different people - and that's a good thing! I'm sure you love your twin for all the things she does and loves that you don't.

 

I think it's going to take some time and be a process to get your mom to respect you both as individuals. So, let's get it started already!

 

The first thing you need to do is talk to your twin and see how she feels about all this. Does she feel the same way? If so, you're on the same page and that will help when you talk to your mom.

 

Once you've talked with your twin sister, then you need to sit down with your mom. I know it might be tempting to do this with your twin since you are in this together, but I think it will be better to actually talk to your mom alone. You can each have a conversation with her to talk about why exactly you want some space and what it is that you are interested. If you present yourself alone, your mom will have to talk to you about you - not you and your twin. It will be a good opportunity for you to say exactly what you're thinking. And it's a good chance for your twin to have a moment, too.

 

When you talk with your mom, give her some examples of what you want to have happen. Do you want to get your own room? If there are enough rooms in the house, suggest that summer is a perfect time to move rooms. Or, if there aren't enough rooms, maybe you can each decorate your side with things that you love so you don't feel like you're living in a "twin area."

 

And what about clothes and summer camp? It's ok to dress differently and to want to go to the basketball summer camp if that's what you're good at. But your sister may want to do tennis. Talk to your mom about what you enjoy and offer some ways to make those things happen. It's all about staying calm and doing your research.

 

I think you're going to do great - let me know what your mom says and remember that this is probably going to be an ongoing conversation with your mom and your twin. Even if your mom is all about having you two be individuals, she might need some gentle reminding every once in a while. After all, she's been doing the twin thing as long as you have!

 

Good luck!
xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Graduation Gift Time

I was reading this article about parents giving teenagers cars for graduation and it made me wonder what the most common graduation gift is...I know I didn't get a car and neither did most of my friends. But it's not like I was expecting one. My parents had a celebration dinner with my family and my absolutely favorite cake and gave me some money for a study abroad thing I was dying to go on and it was perfect.

What are you asking for when you graduate? Do you parents give gifts or is the fact that they are probably helping pay for college the present?

Financially Savvy Teens are Taking Over

The economy is tanking. Not to sound depressing or anything, but gas is a freaking fortune and milk for my beloved Quaker Oatmeal Squares is ridiculously expense. (Note: If you haven't tried Oatmeal Squares, then you should. They come in a blue box.)

I find is particularly interesting that in this time of financial worry, there are so many articles on parents talking to their teens about money. It shows that money is a big concern for people right now and I think it's a good thing for you to learn some financial tricks now, because soon you'll be in college and at some point you will be faced with the decision how to spend the last $15 in your wallet--buying a book for a class or ordering pizza. (I was there more often than I like to admit and while I usually went for the book, I did order pizza a few times.) Here are my favorite articles and a few tidbits of advice from them:

• The Deseret News (Salt Lake City) this article is the best one I read...It says, a recent Charles "Schwab survey showed that 71 percent of parents think the best way for teens to learn about money is from guided, hands-on experience or from a parent's example, but few involve their teens in family budgeting and spending decisions. In fact, the survey said parents were more likely to teach their teens how to do laundry (70 percent) and how to cook (68 percent) than how to regularly save money (54 percent), how to budget money (49 percent) and how to pay bills (43 percent)." Basically, your parents want you to understand money but aren't giving you a real chance to learn about it. You should definitely be more involved, even if it's just by an occasional trip to the grocery store to see how much your fam's food costs.
• Omaha World-Herald has great advice that gives teens a little more control over what they're learning financially. "Give children the opportunity to make financial decisions with a little guidance at first, said Kay Kruger, a teacher at Gordon-Rushville High School." I love this because if you're earning money at a summer job or something, you should have a say in how you spend it. Not to mention, you're the one who's stuck penniless when the money's gone!
• The Statesman (in India! - even other country's are teaching their kids about cash) This article is all about pocket money and allowances and how much is enough. I'm fascinated that it's basically the same discussion as you would find in your hometown.
• The Akron Beacon Journal (Ohio) says to "involve your teenagers in devising a plan to save for their college fund." This is a good one because your parents probably talk to you so much about getting into a good college that you might as well look at not only what grades you have to have, but what kind of cash, when you're deciding where you really want to go. I mean, hey, you're involved in every other step of the college application process. Starting to create a financial plan should be part of it.

What's the best financial advice you're ever gotten? Are you good with money or does it burn holes in your pocket?

The Secret Lives of Teenagers

Whenever I read a headline that says something like "The Secret Lives of Teenagers," I'm tempted to roll my eyes a little. Not because I don't think teenagers have secrets, but because usually a headline this is an attempt to dramatize the bad decisions of a few teenagers and makes parents panics that their totally normal teenager is on drugs or something like that. The truth is, most teenagers are pretty good kids and it drives me crazy how they can get a generalized bad rap in media.

Anyway, I was thinking all these things when I saw this article titled The Secret Lives of Teenagers (of course). But, I was happily surprised when I started reading it.

Even though the article starts off saying that communication is a problem between parents and teens (hello, that why I wrote my book!), it actually has some very promising and comforting stats.

A few highlights:

• The study shows that more than 70 per cent of teenagers think their parents accept them as they are, sense when they are upset, understand what they are going through, respect their feelings and trust their judgment. (That's a huge number! Way to go to all those parents who inspire that kind of trust from their teenagers.)
• Teenagers are not always likely to confide in parents, with only around 50 per cent saying they "almost always" or "often" talk with parents about troubles or difficulties. (The truth is, you don't have to confide everything in your parents. Yes, they need to know the basics, but sometimes it's ok to process things on your own before you talk to a friend or parent. And usually, after you've given yourself some time to think about things in your own mind, you can find your own solution. I would just say that when something dangerous or scary is happening, this is definitely a time to talk to your mom or dad.)

Really, teenagers today are smart, thoughtful, and generally have good heads on their shoulders. You guys pretty much rock. Now, if we can just spread the word to major media... (I'm working on it.)

Behind the Scenes on Book Tour

I have settled back home after being out on the road for 2 weeks. It's great to be back home sleeping in my bed and waking up at a decent hour, but I kind of miss being out doing events and meeting people. So, I thought I would share some highlights from a few cities since things got so crazy I didn't have time to finish blogging about all the events.

SAN FRANCISCO (May 6, 2008)
I love San Francisco. It's one of those cities that has such amazing energy and a really good vibe.

The first stop was the book club at Capuchino High School in San Bruno, just a few minutes from the San Francisco airport. My mom and I couldn't find the actual entrance to the school (it's one of those great multi-level CA schools with tons of outdoor space) so we actually got there about 5 minutes late.

Lucky for me, the girls were really cool. We talked for over an hour about everything from dealing with parents when it comes to getting a summer job to what it's like to write a book. The teacher who runs the book club made homemade scones and hot chocolate and the event ended up being a super fun gab session. It was definitely one of the highlights from the road.

After book club, my mom and I went back to the hotel and completely crashed. We had to wake up at 3:00am in the morning in order to catch our 6:00am flight, so we were beat. But a few hours in bed with the blackout curtains drawn, and we were good as new.

Next stop was ABC-TV and their local show The View from the Bay. (See that white plastic bag in my hand? That was lunch - BLTs from the diner around the corner. Yum!) I was lucky and got to do a bunch of local TV shows while I was in different cities, but this one was a highlight. The hosts were really fun and real - I could tell they really wanted to have fun with the book but also get some useful info out there.

We wrapped up the day with a Mother-Daughter pizza party at Towne Center Books in Pleasanton. Pleasanton had one of the cutest main streets I've ever seen...little sandwich shops, boutiques, a nail salon and of course, what main street is complete with a book store? Towne Center Books is the heart of the town and I met so many cool teens and their moms. And Judy made homemade brownies which definitely hit the spot after a busy day!

Next stop...hot and sunny Phoenix.

 

My interview with the Seattle Post-Intelligencer

While I was on book tour, I got to speak to a bunch of high school and junior high students in all different cities about how to deal with their parents. Let me just say, these were by far the best events I did. The teenagers had the best questions and we had really good talks. They basically became like chat sessions instead of lectures. (Which is by far how I prefer them. Who wants to just sit and listen to some random person talk for an hour?)

At one school just outside of Seattle, a reporter and photographer came with me and took pictures while I talked. I'm usually pretty calm under pressure, but seriously, having a reporter take your picture while you're speaking is so nerve-wracking! Anyway, the article turned out great - it ran last Friday in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

One quick story, I actually drove out to the event with the reporter, a super nice guy named Paul Nyhan. (He really is one of the most genuinely nice reporters I've ever met.) He wanted us to have time to talk before I actually started speaking at the school, because I wasn't going to be able to answer his questions then, you know? So, anyway, he picked me up at my hotel and we started driving. But after 3 minutes in the car, he turned to me and said, "Do you want to drive?"

I need to explain a little something here. I am an excellent driver. Really, only one accident in 13 years of having my license. But...that being said, I don't have a car. I live in New York City and we don't drive anywhere. So it's been years since I've driven a lot. I only drive when we go on vacation and even then, Grant usually drives. (I prefer to sit shotgun and rule the radio.)

So, when Paul asked me to drive I started to laugh a little. I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. He needed to take notes, he said, and couldn't do it while he was driving. And then he pulled over so we could trade spots!

I thought I might start to hyperventilate. Not only was I going to drive a reporter (who was in the process of interviewing me) but I was going to drive HIS car in a city I wasn't that familiar with. Waaaaa! I tried to keep my cool. I put my seatbelt on, adjusted the mirror and went for it. And you know what, it all turned out ok. We got to the school in one piece. But I swear, when we finally parked, it was like I could breathe again. Thank goodness I didn't wreck his car!!

Mother's Day is Tomorrow

Don't forget to thank your mom tomorrow for all the things she does for you, like:

• Giving birth to you (this one is major)
• All the times she's made your lunch (peanut butter and jelly always tastes better when she makes it)
• Those early mornings she dropped you off at school because you didn't want to ride the bus
• The time she left a major meeting at work to make it to your semi-final soccer game (she probably didn't tell you she left the meeting, but chances are it happened)
• How she always gives up her cell minutes on the family plan because you're about to go over
• How, even when you're in a really bad mood, she still loves you

Don't worry about getting some expensive gift or lotion for mom. The truth is, even though she could always use a little more lotion, she didn't become a mom to get a paycheck. She just wants to hear that you love and appreciate her. So get a card, write it all down, and tomorrow morning give her a big hug. She deserves it.

Be sure to check out some more Mother's Day advice in my interview with the Los Angeles Times education writer (article to come) but here's a blog entry from our interview yesterday.

On the Road Again

It's sunny in Seattle and I feel so lucky. I lived in Bellevue growing up (the city right across the bridge from Seattle) and it's not sunny very often. I think the book tour gods are being nice to me.

Yesterday was a blast with 2 events in the Seattle area. The first was at Fort Lewis - an army base about 45 minutes from the airport. And it was incredible. I got to meet parents and teenagers who are sacrificing so much to help our country. There were 2 cute soldiers who had 12 year old daughters that stopped by to get books and I even had a few moms get books for their sons. (I told them to apologize for me that the cover is pink but that the info would definitely be helpful!) The base itself was amazing - basically a huge city. I actually had quite an experience getting on. My mom and I drove to the wrong entrance and the guards wouldn't let us in (of course) and then I went the wrong way trying to turn around and the guard starting hollering at us (by this time he had our IDs). Anyway, we finally got to the right entrance and met the event coordinators (Sheree and Mandy) who were so wonderful. The whole thing was a blast!

Next on the agenda was a Borders bookstore in Redmond. We drove straight there from the base and I was a little worried we wouldn't have a soul at the event. But I was wrong. Not only were there some cool moms and teens that I had never met before, but my fourth grade teacher showed up! She was one of my absolute favorite teachers growing up - I learned my times tables and most of my vocabulary from her. It was really touching to have her there. My friend Kayte Gyles and her parents were also there--they were in town running some errands and they made time to come by! It was great to see them. Then, mid-event (I usually say a few words at the beginning and then sign), all of these people from my childhood started showing up. It was unreal - old friends of my parents, old friends of mine. I have never felt so loved and so appreciative to have such amazing people in my life. It was a wonderful event. I think most of all because I realized how lucky I am to know so many incredible people. They've really made me who I am (well, the good parts anyway) and it was beyond great to have a few hours with them.

One more day in Seattle and then on to San Francisco and Phoenix!

The Alterna-Kid according to the Boston Globe

In my book How to Raise Your Parents, the first chapter features parent profiles. You know, The Hippie, The Teen Wannabe, The Sibling Activist, and so on. The idea is that you have to figure out what kind of parent you have before you can start raising them.

So, I thought it was really funny when I found this Boston Globe article that profiles different kinds of kids. They have The Sporty Kid and The Fantasy Kid and most of them are about elementary school kids. But one, The Alterna-Kid, is about teenagers.

The writer, who apparently has at least one teenager, describes this "fringe-dwelling" teenager who hates the Gap. Maybe I should create a list of teen profiles. What kind of teen are you?

Book Tour Buzz

I'm out on the road, in Salt Lake City right now, and I leave for Seattle early tomorrow morning. It's been a total whirlwind so far and I'm loving every second of it.

My first tour event was in Dayton, Ohio, at Books & Co. - a famously rocking bookstore for hosting great events and selling a TON of books! I know the event coordinator, the talented Sharon Kelly Roth, and it was really fun to hang out with her for a few minutes before the event started. Once I got to the event space, I was happy to see the three people who came to hear me talk. (I know what you're thinking - three people? - but as a new author in a town where you don't know a soul - three is totally thrilling.) The three women were awesome and the event ended up being a girls night out style chat with everyone talking about being a teenager or having teenagers. I just wish I would've brought some refreshments and my pillow!

Next stop - Salt Lake City - my old high school stomping ground and where my family lives now. I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when my plane landed on Thursday morning. There really is no place like home. I didn't spend much time actually at home though. Thursday night was a great event at The King's English - a really amazing indy bookstore - one of the top in the country. Not only did I get to see old friends and meet some new ones, I also met a teen book blogger I've been emailing with - the girl behind Squeaky Books! She was so sweet to come all the way to the event and I loved meeting her. You know, that's my favorite part of the tour so far - meeting cool teenagers and parents and other writers. I feel super lucky.

I finished the week off with some local media (Good Things Utah on ABC-TV, The Todd & Erin Show on B98.7, KCPW's Midday Metro, and a few other hits) and a great event at the Salt Lake City library in Millcreek. (That event was super fun - I LOVE libraries and librarians. I think I might be a librarian in my next life.)

Tomorrow I head to Seattle and I'll be posting a few pics of those events later this week, along with pics from my stops in San Francisco, Phoenix, and Los Angeles. Hope to see you there!

My Book Tour Starts Today!

This morning I got up at the crack of dawn (literally the crack) to fly out to Cincinnati/Dayton for the first stop on my book tour. Check out the schedule below to see if I'm coming to your city. And if I am - you should stop by because I would LOVE to see you!

Oh, did I mention that my mom is going to come with me to a few cities? How fun is that?!

DAYTON, OH - Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Books & Co.
For more information, call: 937-429-2169
or visit: Books & Co.

SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Thursday, May 1, 2008 @ 7:00pm
The King's English
1519 S. 1500 E.
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
For more information, call: 801-466-5151
or visit: The King's English

SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Saturday, May 3, 2008 @ 11:00am
East Millcreek Library
2266 Evergreen Ave.
Salt Lake City, UT 84109
For more information, call: 801-944-7622
or visit: Go City Kids

SEATTLE, WA - Sunday, May 4 @ 12:00pm
Ft. Lewis - Military Base
Building 5280 Pendelton Avenue
Ft. Lewis, WA 98433
(near Seattle)

REDMOND, WA - Sunday, May 4, 2008 @ 3:00pm
Borders
16549 NE 74th Street
Redmond, WA 98052
For more information, call: 425-869-1907
or visit: Borders in Redmond

SEATTLE, WA - Monday, May 5, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Third Place Books
17171 Bothell Way NE
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155
For more information, call: 206-366-3316
or visit: Third Place Books

SAN FRANCISCO / PLEASANTON, CA - Tuesday, May 6, 2008 @ 6:30pm
Towne Center Books (Mother/Daughter Pizza Party!)
555 Main Street
Pleasanton, CA 94566
For more information, call: 925-846-8826
or visit: Towne Center Books

PHOENIX, AZ - Wednesday, May 7, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Changing Hands
6428 S. McClintock Dr.
Tempe, AZ 85283
For more information, call: 480-730-1142
or visit: Changing Hands

LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday, May 8, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Book Soup
8818 Sunset Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069
For more information, call: 310-659-3684
or visit: BookSoup

GREENWICH, CT - Monday, May 12, 2008 - 2 Events
Parents Together Group Meeting @ 9:00am
For more information, visit: Greenwich Schools 

Just Books & Arcadia Coffee Company, Mother & Daughter Dinner/Book Talk @ TIME TK
28 Arcadia Road
Old Greenwich, CT 06870
For more information, call: 203-637-0707
or visit: Just Books

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
Prom is in 2 weeks and my parents are making me come home at midnight. That's my regular curfew! Everyone else is staying at this girl's cabin and they won't let me. How can I get them to let me go?

- Ellie

Sarah Says:
Dear Ellie,
Prom is definitely a special occasion so I can understand why you're upset that your parents won't at least extend your curfew. But you still have two weeks and that's plenty of time to try and work out a compromise with them.

Do they know the guy who asked you? If not, then the first thing you should do is introduce them. Have the guy meet you at your house before you go hang out or study so you can casually have him meet your parents (no pressure on them or him). For parents, knowing who their daughter is going to be hanging out with all night is a big deal. It's part of the trust issue.

Once they've met the guy and can see that he's decent (he is, right? If not, you can definitely get a better date!), you need to sit down for a heart-to-heart. Lay out exactly what your prom plans are - what time you'd get picked up, where you'd go to dinner, and who would be in your group. Ask them why they don't want to give you a later curfew? Is it because they don't want you going to the cabin? Or because they're worried about you driving so late? Figure it out so you can address their concerns directly.

Then, suggest some alternatives. Maybe you can go to the cabin for a few hours and they'd be willing to pick you up. I know that's not staying but at least you'd get some chill time. Or maybe they'd at least give you an extra hour if you offer to help them out with some extra chores. Offer to trade - after all, this is important to you!

I hope that gives you a few ideas. If you still don't get anywhere, this might be one of those situations when you resort to begging, but I think your parents will listen to you if you keep cool and are willing to compromise.

I hope you have a great time at prom! Let me know how it goes.
xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Cameras installed to watch teen drivers

If my dad could've, he would've installed a GPS chip in my arm when I was a teenager. He also liked teasing me that he kept track of the car mileage so he knew how far I was driving every time I borrowed his car. But I knew he was just razzing me. It was kind of the same thing with the GPS, but only kind of. There's part of him that really would've tried to do it if he could've. You know...parents get worried. They (and you) can't help it.

So I shouldn't be surprised that there's a new insurance program being tested that installs cameras in the cars of teenagers to watch them and make sure they're driving safely. It grades the videos for riskiness and then sends the video back to parents.

I'm a little wierded out by cameras in general. I just don't like the idea of people being able to see me re-tuck my shirt while I'm in the elevator (or pick my wedgie) but I've never been in a car with a camera. My brother-in-law has a back-up camera. Similar, only in these cases, the camera is turned to look inside the car, too.

So far, the study reports that "teen drivers participating in the program have had far fewer crashes and injury accidents than would have been expected based on national driving statistics. It also says driving risk scores measured in the recordings dropped an average 80 percent during the first 16 weeks."

Those are impressive results but I'm willing to bet that you could get the same ones just with the threat of a camera (my dad's GPS idea, while impossible, drove the message home for me). It was expected that if I got to drive, I would be a safe driver. And all those hours practicing with my dad in the passenger seat were helpful when it came to being safe. It will be interesting to see if parents really do put cameras in their cars. I don't think mine would've, but I'm not sure. And would I? I don't think so - not unless there had been accidents and tickets that warranted it. I think as long as you've earned, and keep, your parents trust, no cameras are necessary. I was a good driver. My sister Annie on the other hand? She might have gotten a camera installed. (Sorry, Annie!)

What do you think? How would you feel about a camera in your car? Do you think your parents would install one? Why or why not?

The Today Show!!

It was so amazing to be on the Today Show yesterday. The day started when the town car picked up me, my mom, and Grant and drove us down to Rockefeller Center. After getting settled in the greenroom (Grant was even more nervous than I was!) the producer took me down to get my makeup and hair done. (I wish I could do that every single morning. It's amazing what the hairdresser could do with my stick straight hair and it was heaven having someone do my makeup!) And then it was just a few minutes before I walked on to the set, got miked, and started talking with Ann Curry and Michele Borba.

What a whirlwind! It was really wonderful. Every minute of it. My mom took a bunch of pictures and when I figure out her camera (I swear, sometimes I think they make cameras hard to work on purpose) I'll post them. But for the time being, here's the segment...Enjoy!

Girl Worth Getting to Know - Kayte Gyles

I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world because I get to meet some really, really cool teenagers - and 18-year-old Kayte Gyles is one of them.

I met Kayte and her parents when they were in New York last month visiting from British Columbia, Canada. If you met Kaye today, you would be impressed with her sense of humor and boundless energy, that fact that she's a competitive curler, and how much she loves her dog. But what you wouldn't know is that Kayte is also a cancer survivor and she's about to shave her head again, this time to help other people dealing with cancer.

We had so much fun hanging out and Kayte is such an incredible person, that I wanted you all to get to know her, too.

SB: Even though you look great with a shaved head, you didn't do it for a fashion statement (at least not at first!). Tell us why you did it.
KG: Well, I went bald for the first time last year when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was diagnosed twenty days before my seventeenth birthday and my chemotherapy caused me to lose my hair. I actually ended up shaving my head the day after my birthday because I wanted some control over the cancer.

Now, I’m going bald for a second time. It’s been nine months since my last chemotherapy and I have some hair, not a lot. I’m going to be shaving it on April 26th (that's tomorrow!) for a fund raiser called Balding for Dollars. (Donate to support Kayte and her cancer awareness efforts!) It’s an amazing organization that does so many great things! Balding For Dollars helps families who financially struggle with all the extras. They hold teen adventure camps where we can just be ourselves and be comfortable with who we are. They have great camps for the younger children and for their families and they have started a teen support group that meets once a month. I can personally say that its one of the greatest things ever!

SB: It's pretty cool that you're out there raising money and awareness for other people. How else do you keep busy?
KG: Well, when I’m not bugging friends or family to donate, or help out with something cancer related, you can find me either on a curling rink or curled up on my couch with my laptop and my dog, Willow, writing. Sometimes I am out with my camera because I love photography!

SB: What was your first thought after your own cancer diagnosis?
KG: Well, my first thought when they told me that I had cancer was along the lines of, Oh S*#@!  But honestly, I wasn’t shocked. I’ve always been a kid who hasn’t been too healthy and there was always a part of me that thought one day I might have cancer, and it turned out, I was right!

SB: How do you think having cancer changed your relationship with your parents?
KG: My parents and I have always been really close, but cancer definitely made us closer. I became a child again and the things that were usually considered pretty easy definitely weren’t for me. My mom had to help me change, shower, and there was a time she even had to help me shave my armpits! Then when my mom wasn’t around my dad would have to help me walk back and forth from the bathroom and any sense of privacy was definitely lost.

SB: Tell us a little about competitive curling. (Kayte's quite an athlete.) How did you first get into it?
KG: I started curling five years ago when my parents told me that they wanted me to do something physical and they thought I would love curling. I personally wanted nothing to do with it! I thought curling was only for nerds and at the time I didn’t want to admit that I truly was a nerd. (SB: For the record, nerds are cool.)

Beginning curling was not a very fun experience for me! I was awful and there were some days that I wanted to quit and I even had a few coaches tell me that I should, but that’s what gave me the drive to do better. By Christmas, I was absolutely in love with the sport and all my presents had something to do with curling.

In these past five years, my team and I have gone to 3 provincial championships and curling is definitely a dream that will never die for me. Curling is my number one passion and I know that one day I will be representing Canada in the Olympics!

SB: Since this is an interview for RaiseYourParents.com do you have any great tips for dealing with parents in general?
KG: Honestly, I’ve never really had problems with my parents. I’m an only child and from the get go we’ve always treated each other with respect. The worst thing I have ever done as a child is get cancer and that wasn’t even my fault. I never gave my parents a reason not to like me and in return my parents have never given me a reason to rebel against them. I think it all comes down to trust and respect and understanding of each other.

SB: You're a senior this year, what are your plans for next year?
KG: I’m taking a semester off to curl competitively and then I’ll be starting school in the New Year and majoring in creative writing at a local college.

SB: If you had to choose what you wanted to do for the rest of your life right this minute, what would you choose and why?
KG: That’s a really great question and I think I’d choose to be a writer. I’ve been telling stories since I was a child and being an author has always been something that I’ve dreamed of. My dream and goal is to be an award-winning author!

SB: Ahhh, you're a writer. Without giving away any specifics, can you tell us if you're writing anything now?
KG: Right now I’m working on a novel about my journey through cancer. It’s to raise awareness about teens and cancer and to also show that cancer isn’t something everyone dies from. Its something that looked at, the right way can be a huge life lesson.

SB: Anything else we should all know about Kayte Gyles?
KG: I’m insanely sarcastic, a total dreamer and my imagination is my best friend.

Want to support Kayte and Balding for Dollars? Donate here!

Sarah on the Radio

Last week I was on the radio show Walking on Air with Betsy and Sal with these two super funny moms, Betsy and Sal. It was one of the most lively interviews I've had because they both have teenagers! And actually, I was thinking that if I were one of their teenagers I would probably die of embarrassment because they were getting discussed on air.

I think my favorite moment in the interview was when Sal said that she and her teenage daughter took a road trip and her daughter made a mix of music for the ride. According to Sal, her daughter's taste in music was the worst part of the trip! I had to laugh because I remember trying to get my mom to listen to Alanis Morissette (her first album Jagged Little Pill came out when I was a sophomore and I still love it). Anyway, you would've thought I tried to make my mom listen to a soundtrack of dogs barking. She hated it! We finally made peace with one of my other favorites Carole King--my mom actually introduced me to Carole and now we're good old friends.

Back to Betsy and Sal--I have to say they must be pretty cool moms. (Note: if one of their kids reads this, email me so I can hear your side of the story!). They cracked me up so hard that at one point I worried I was going to choke on the radio! You can download their podcasts for free and check out their website for more about them, past shows, and other cool stuff.

Parents Find Texting Can be Better than Talking

You know something is becoming a national trend when one of the big newspapers (the New York Times, USA Today, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, or LA Times) has a big story on it. So, I was really excited to see this story in the Washington Post a few days ago.

Parents are texting more to keep in touch with their kids? Finally! I've been saying all along that parents need to learn about all the new technology if they want to keep up with their teenagers. After all, teens are super tech savvy and are up on everything from the latest websites to IM lingo. It only makes sense that they'd be able to relate to their teenagers better if they're communicating the same way. Not to mention, it's no secret that as a teenager it can be really embarrassing if your mom or dad are calling you 24/7. With a text they can still say "remember soccer after school" or "when are you coming home?" without dialing you up 5 million times a day. It's a total win-win.

Along these same lines, when I found out I was going to be on the Today Show last week, I called my mom. I was at work, so I couldn't talk long, but within 20 minutes she'd told my whole family and I got texts from my sister Jennie and brother Connor telling me congrats. It just made things even more exciting and it was the perfect way for them to say way to go without actually calling me at the office. As they say in those Orbitz commercials...Fabulous!

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
My stepmom is always complaining about my music. She comes in my room and turns off my stereo and sometimes will pull my earphones out of my ears to check on what I'm listening to. She thinks all music that isn't like a choir or opera stuff is devil music. I listen to really good stuff but every time I tell her that she gets mad at me for talking back. What can I do?

- Melissa

Sarah Says:
Dear Melissa,
Music is one of those issues that some parents get really worked up about. I think the answer in your case, is to do some major music jam sessions with your stepmom. I don't mean actually going to a concert or anything (we're not there yet) but making her a mix of stuff that you think can ease her into your music.

The first step is figuring out exactly what she likes. Is it really opera? Then maybe she'd like Idina Menzel's new album (Idina made it big on Broadway with "Rent" and "Wicked" and has a truly amazing set of pipes.) Or what about some mellow country music? Carrie Underwood (the American Idol sweetheart) has a squeaky clean image and her new album is really good.

After you've figured out a few albums or songs that you think she'd like, make a mix and lend your stepmom your iPod for the day. Tell her you feel like you guys might not have such different tastes in music after all and that you made her a special mix. (Not many moms would turn that down.)

Then, when you get home from school, check in and see what she thought during the day. If she liked it then you're off to a killer start. If not, offer to listen to some of her stuff and try to get down to the bottom of why she likes it. Is it tune? Pace? The actual singers? Just taking the time to understand her will definitely earn you points when it comes to the next time she complains.

Good luck! And email me your playlist - I'm sure it will have some good stuff that I should check out too.

xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Why are fewer teenagers learning to drive?

I read this op-ed called "Driving Miss Chloe" in the New York Times a few weeks ago and was surprised when I read the statistic that fewer teenagers are learning to drive - not because they can't, but because they don't really need or want to. I figure most things printed in the New York Times are correct (it is the most important paper in the country, after all) but I had to double check this stat. Why wouldn't teenagers want to be able to drive off in to the sunset?

Sure enough, it's true. Fewer teenagers feel the need to get their driver's licenses today than teenagers 10 years ago. So, what gives? I was so ready to drive when I was 16 that I begged my mom to take me to the DMV the morning of my birthday. I didn't even want to wait for the school day to be over. (She didn't go for that and I had to wait those painful 7 hours through my classes before finally getting my ticket to freedom. At least that's how I saw it.)

Now, though, I live in New York and I don't have a car. (I don't think a Vespa counts, does it?) And I'm glad not to have a car, not just because parking is a pain and insurance would cost me almost my entire paycheck (at least it feels that way) but driving is just stressful. Not to mention that gas is over $3.00 a gallon. This is going to make me sound super old, but less than 10 years ago when I was in high school, gas was 99 cents a gallon. Seriously. And I could barely fill up my tank then! I would try to go as far as possible on $4.00 because then I could get a diet coke at the gas station, too.

Do teenagers feel the same way I do? Is driving just too much of a hassle? I know parents are worried about their teenagers driving because it can be dangerous but I think teens are motivated by something different. Why do you think not as many teenagers care about driving? Is it because their friends are driving? Or because they have to pay for their own gas and insurance? Or because they really are just happy to have their parents drive them around? What do you think?

Quote of the Day

"I have really great parents that were never weirdos."

- Ellen Page, Juno star, Hollywood starlet, and all-around cool girl on why she turned out so much better than a lot of other young actresses who keep getting arrested and showing up on the cover of US Weekly for bizarre scandals (I'm not naming names but you know who I'm talking about)

I'm on TV!!

I had my very first ever TV appearance on Wednesday and it's up online for the world to see. New York 1 News (a local New York City channel) had me on to talk about my book and how to bridge the gap between teens and parents. They let me pick the topics, so I chose music, driving, and expressing your personal style--all pretty big deals when it comes to parent/teen relationships. I have to say, it was really fun!

The host really wanted me to have props - "think of it like you're doing a show and tell for second graders," she said - so I brought a bunch of old records to show music from your parents' generation (Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Carol King, Bob Dylan) and CDs from the current top 40 (Carrie Underwood, Jack Johnson, Alicia Keyes, Chris Brown) to show that there's stuff from all generations. My point: your parents don't need to be freaked out about your music!

One funny thing, though. Since Grant has a big record collection, (all the records I showed on camera are his) he said I should definitely use "Sticky Fingers" one of the most iconic Rolling Stones covers ever to illustrate my point. The only problem? It a total crotch shot and the producers said that just wouldn't fly with parents. (It was named the number 1 album cover of all-time by VH1.)

I see where they're coming from (uhmm, who couldn't?!) because this album cover was totally scandalous when it came out. And let's be honest, it's still a little shocking but I think parents are less scandalized by record covers than the producers thought they would be. Would your mom or dad be shocked by this?

Not to mention, the coolest part of the album is that the original one has an actual zipper instead of just a picture. Grant (a total record geek!) keeps his wrapped in plastic. So it's actually a collector's item!

My Uncle's take on my teen years...

Since my book is just out, I've been emailing everyone I know about it. (Umm, if I don't tell them about it, who will?) Anyway, my favorite uncle - Uncle Mike - sent me the funniest email after he bought it. Totally cracked me up!

Sarah,

After perusing your book have come to the conclusion that you we're a naughty girl. I'm sure you're writing from experience, just too many juicy tidbits come through. Now know why your Dad's hair turned prematurely gray.

Great book, we're very proud of you and your accomplishments, even after the tumultuous teen years.

Mike

I just had to laugh when I read it because my Dad's hair really did go gray early but I swear it's not because of me! (Although I'm not sure he thinks that...)

You can buy my book on Amazon!

I know I've been talking about my book a lot these days but I just can't help myself. There's something new happening every day!! It's seriously so exciting - way better than waking up on Christmas morning when I was five and I knew Santa had brought me the lego set I wanted. (I was really into legos.)

And yesterday it was official - my book is for sale on Amazon!! It's shipping out to bookstores as we speak (or, well, as I write) so it should be in a bookstore near you soon. And you'd better believe I'm going to be walking around Manhattan this weekend checking every single bookstore I know.

But go online and order your copy, and if you like it, post a review or drop me an email. I'd love to hear what you think? And thanks for all your support. I couldn't do this without you guys!

P.S. If you see it in your bookstore, email me!