Sarah Burningham: Teen Author

What you do OR what you say?

You know that saying "actions speak louder than words?" Well, it's true for parents, too. I mean how many times has your mom said not to talk on your cell phone while driving but she chats away on the freeway? If parents expect teens to really do what they say they're going to (or not), then they also need to. Not only will it help your communication (which one survey says is not so good) it's just the right thing to do.

Prom on a Budget

The theme for my senior prom was "Angel." Now, I appreciate all the effort the senior class officers put into planning a great prom, but Angel? Really? If my date (and then boyfriend) would've called me angel I would've puked all over my burgundy dress.

It was based on that Sarah McLachlan song, appropriately titled Angel (duh) and we had it at the State Capitol building. It was a gorgeous setting, marble pillars and staircases, and the dance floor was under the rotunda. But I didn't appreciate my date reminding me that the capitol building wasn't at all earthquake proof. During the most romantic dance of the night, I was envisioning the rotunda collapsing on the entire senior class of Skyline High School in a pile of bricks.

Not to say I didn't have a good time. And I think the best part was that I went with a really fun guy and great group. We didn't spend a fortune - no limos - but did pool together money to rent out a small gym so after the dance we could play racketball and swim and run wild through the locker rooms. (Ok, our dates pooled the money together, but I happen to know it didn't cost them their arms and legs.)

We knew other kids who rented hot air balloons, reserved full movie theaters, and spent more money than I can imagine trying to make their proms a "night to remember." And really, I think it's a waste of perfectly good, hard-earned cash. Since when does prom night have to be "the best night of your life?" And why would anyone want to spend every penny in their bank account on one night? Especially when you read articles like this one about programs that help kids who's parents can't afford to hand over the credit card (note: mine probably could've, but definitely weren't willing to and they were smart not to). I love the idea that this program is helping girls who's parents are unemployed get prom dresses. Prom shouldn't be something that only "well off" people get to experience. 

So, I guess what I'm saying, is before you get caught up in the insanity that can be prom, think about all the other things you'd rather spend $200 on other than dinner for four at the fanciest restaurant you know. And remember that creativity is worth a lot more than a limo. The best dance I ever went to was in the fall and after we left the actual dance, we went laser-tagging. $10 a person for an hour of serious fun. (And a great way to flirt!) Now that's how prom should be. It doesn't take a ton of cash to have a good time.

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
My best friend broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and he just asked our other friend to go out with him. And our other friend said yes! So my one friend is all upset that she's betraying her friendship and the other friend says she really likes the guy but how can she if he was with our other friend for so long? I'm stuck in the middle and I don't want to pick sides. What should I do?

- Mia

Sarah Says:
Dear Mia,
Feeling stuck in the middle of two friends is a terrible feeling - especially because you care about both friends and it's hard to see them fight. Not wanting to pick sides is definitely the right way to go - this is a problem between your two friends and doesn't involve you. You're smart to stay out of it.

That being said, both friends might be trying to drag you into it by talking about the other friend behind her back or asking you to be the go-between. Try to avoid any gossiping and if you get stuck in a situation where you feel like you're getting pulled into it, stop the conversation. You can do this by saying something flat out, like, "I don't know - I don't want to get in the middle," or you can divert the conversation by sending a text to another friend about something totally different or suggesting that the two of you go do something like see a movie. Sometimes a diversion is the best tactic because it changes the direction of the conversation completely.

I can tell you're a good friend just by your email. I know it's hard when friendships go through rough times but you can do it. If one of your friend's pushes you to side against the other, remind her that you're there for her, but that you can be a good friend to both of them.

Good luck!

xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
There is this guy I really like that rides my bus. Today when my friend and I were sitting on the bus he came over and asked to sit by us. My friend knows I like him so of course she said yes and she made him sit in the middle of us. But, word also got around and I think he knows I like him.

Also, to add to this mess he has a girlfriend. Anyways, he usually sits by another girl on the bus and the other girl sits on his legs. This annoys me because, obviously, I like him, and because he is going out with someone else.

Also, my older brother rides the bus so in these situations it makes it a little awkward. I don't know what I should do. Should I let him sit with me? What should I do about the girl that sits on his legs? Should I talk to him? I am really confused. HELP!!

- Andrea

Sarah Says:
Dear Andrea,
It sounds like you're in kind of a sticky situation with this guy. I think he's sending signals that he's interested - especially when he won't let you off the bus and tries to sit next to you. But then again, he has a girlfriend. Even if he is flirting with you and you like him back, do you want to be with someone who's flirting with other people when he's with you? It's a respect issue. He's not respecting you or his girlfriend.

I think you should play it safe and get to know him a little better. These bus rides sound like a good opportunity to become better friends and to find out what he's really like. And then maybe if he does become available, you'll feel like the time is right to make your move. And as for your brother being on the bus? I think brothers will always be brothers - they like to tease - so definitely just ignore it!

Let me know what happens over the next few weeks - I'll be eager to hear about your bus adventures!

xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

This is the first of a recurring feature I'm going to do on my blog. I have tons of cool teenagers who email me with questions about their lives--everything from their parents getting divorced to dying their hair to telling they boy they like how they feel. And since I know a lot of you are wondering the same things, I'm going to share at least one question (and answer) a week. Here's the first of many...

Question:
So I like this boy and have for about 4 years! I know. I am in almost all his classes, I go to the same church...I see him everywhere. I am really afraid to tell him I like him myself. I don’t want to flat out ask him out, because then I will be heartbroken if he says no. I think he likes this other girl in my class but I am not sure. She like him, though, its so obvious. She is pretty and everything. I don’t know what to do.

Should I tell him I like him?
Should I try to forget him?
Get my friend to ask him?

 I am kinda shy so I don’t know if I would be able to tell him...
--Kelly

Sarah Says:
Kelly, It's great to hear from you! I'm so glad you wrote. I remember in High School and college, really crushing on boys and not knowing what the next step was. Sometimes I'd give out enough hints they'd end up asking me out, and sometimes nothing happened. I think in the end, the best way I handled it was when I was upfront with both myself and the guy and told him I was interested. I know there's no guarantee that it will work, in fact a lot of times it didn't work out at all for me. But there's something really liberating about knowing what you want, and asking for it. I can't promise he'll like you back, but I will say this, you won't regret a missed chance if you decide to take the risk and tell him how you feel. One thing to remember, if he can't recognize what a catch you are, you can do better anyway.

Good luck with however you play it. Let me know how it goes.
xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

I'm in Teen Vogue!!

Really, I'm in there as an expert on mother-daughter relationships. It's the April issue and it just hit newsstands so if you don't have a subscription, you can get it at the drugstore or grocery store or bookstore (you see where I'm going with this). Anyway, not only does the magazine have some totally fab fashion, but the articles are really, really good. I am so excited to be in it. Between us, I was dying to get my hands on the real magazine so everyday last week, I went to about 5 newsstands around the Upper West Side where I live and asked if they got their new copies in that day. The guys behind the counter started to recognize me and by Thursday they would just look at me when I walked up to the counter and say, "Not yet--tomorrow. I promise." Finally, I got a copy last weekend and I devoured it cover-to-cover!!

So read the article and let me know what you think. Oh, and will you sign up for my Sarah Says newsletter? Pretty please? Just look in the upper right hand corner and sign on up. My newsletter has exclusive Q&As with teenagers, experts, and even an occasional cool give-away! And if you think of anything I should cover in my newsletter or in my blog, let me know. You really are the experts, you know!