Sarah Burningham: Teen Author

A New Teen Speak Dictionary for Parents - Will it Work?

I just read this article from BBC News in the UK about a new online dictionary for parents of teenagers. It's defines some "typical" teen words for parents so they can understand what they're teenagers are saying. It's a good idea in theory, but I wonder if teens change up their slang too quickly for a "dictionary" (what they call the "jargon buster") like this...all the teens I know move so fast when it comes to what's cool and what's not. I wonder if the dictionary will be able to keep up.

What you do OR what you say?

You know that saying "actions speak louder than words?" Well, it's true for parents, too. I mean how many times has your mom said not to talk on your cell phone while driving but she chats away on the freeway? If parents expect teens to really do what they say they're going to (or not), then they also need to. Not only will it help your communication (which one survey says is not so good) it's just the right thing to do.

Are you a Job Snob?

A lot of the teenagers I know have had a really hard time finding jobs, and some of those who have had to promise to stay into the school year (not just a summer gig). I'm not the only one who's finding this. The Los Angeles Times had a column about it - from a mom who's daughter (or any of her friends) can't find a job. But this mom says the lack of job opportunities is because her daughter is a snob.

"My daughter is willing to bag groceries, but only at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. She wouldn't mind selling clothes, but root around in a dusty storeroom for size 7 loafers? Never. In my neighborhood, I'm surrounded by kids who have grown up considering summertime leisure a birthright, and now find their parents unwilling or unable to fuel their cars or fund their lattes."

Now, hold on a minute. I know what it's like to have a particular job in mind. My first summer job was at a bookstore - my dream job! - but it took my a month of looking before they hired me. And I had looked everywhere, not just places I would like to work, but places I thought would hire me. Even the snow shack in the grocery store parking lot. (Apparently, I wasn't qualified to make snow cones. I'm probably still not. I'm way too big of a klutz.)

But do you think teenagers are really being snobs? Or is it really just that hard to get a job these days? I tend to think our economic state is making it nearly impossible for even the most well-meaning, willing-to-do-anything teen to get some summer work. What do you think?

Oh, and if you're looking for some more unconventional ways to fund your summer fun, check out this old post of mine on thrifty teens.

School Library Journal - the review

School Library Journal is this magazine that goes out to, you guessed it, school librarians! It's basically a magazine of book reviews, recommending what they should buy. So if you get a good review, it's definitely a good thing.

They just reviewed HOW TO RAISE YOUR PARENTS in their July issue and here's what they had to say:

For Grades 7-11

This illustrated guide gives parents the upper hand, even if pretends otherwise. In turning the tables, Burningham gets readers to see things from an adult's perspective and offers advice on how to negotiate so that the two generations can happily coexist as a family. More conventional than its quirky title and tone suggest, the book provides rational advice such as avoiding lying and accepting the con-sequences when caught red-handed. Chapters also cover topics such as jobs, getting a driver's license, and cyber-life. The fun, magazine look of the book, which categorizes parents into five types (and provides questions for readers to determine which type they have) and decodes "parentspeak," will no doubt connect with teens. Burningham is clearly an adult talking ("Parents don't like ultimatums...," "If you really want your parents to hear you, you have to treat them like real people"), but she's a very hip adult who makes sense, and teens just might want to listen to her. -Sarah O'Holla, Village Community School, New York City

Body Piercing Drama

This New York Times blog post might as well have been written for me to talk about. I cover piercing in my book and basically say that if you are going to get something pierced (no matter what - or where - it is) you MUST have a professional do it.

One girl I talked to pierced her own belly button and it became this nasty gnarly scar. I'm actually a little scared of needles (due to me very small veins. So small that they have to use a new-natal needle whenever they draw blood at the doctor's) so I'm not one who is going to go out and starting piercing myself. Not to mention, jewelry is expensive! I have a hard time keeping cute earrings in my two holes. But my friend Melissa has the cutest nose piercing. It's all about personal style. Just keep it clean, kids! (Literally. When you pierce something, rubbing alcohol should be your new best friend.)

New blog reviews of How to Raise Your Parents

Some of my favorite blogs have reviewed How to Raise Your Parents (thanks to all you bloggers who read the book!). Here are the latest new reviews:

The Reading Zone - How to Raise Your Parents: A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide by Sarah O’Leary Burningham was a nice break from the fiction I have been reading all day. It’sa cute book with different strategies for dealing with parents...

Em's Bookshelf - Subtitled "A Teen Girl's Survival Guide", How to Raise Your Parents is filled with helpful hints and clues about how to survive your teenage years without killing your parents. It's got everything, from how to talk about curfew to...

On top of these blogs, I'm always on the lookout for new blogs to read so let me know if I should be reading yours!

 

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
I have a question. Ok. I'm a twin and my mom always makes us do the same things.
Even if one of us wants to do something and the other doesn't want to, she makes both of us do it.
Plus, my younger sister gets her own room while we have to share just because we're twins.
Really the only thing that we do separately is birthday parties. What should I do?

- Jeanette

Sarah Says:
Dear Jeanette,
I'm so glad you wrote. I think a lot of twins go through the same thing you are going through and they aren't sure what to do. Your question is definitely an important one!
 

I think parents tend to keep twins together because it's easy. You know, they changed your diapers together, and fed you together, so in their minds, it makes sense to keep you doing the same things as you get older. Only, it doesn't really make sense, because as you get older you become very different people - and that's a good thing! I'm sure you love your twin for all the things she does and loves that you don't.

 

I think it's going to take some time and be a process to get your mom to respect you both as individuals. So, let's get it started already!

 

The first thing you need to do is talk to your twin and see how she feels about all this. Does she feel the same way? If so, you're on the same page and that will help when you talk to your mom.

 

Once you've talked with your twin sister, then you need to sit down with your mom. I know it might be tempting to do this with your twin since you are in this together, but I think it will be better to actually talk to your mom alone. You can each have a conversation with her to talk about why exactly you want some space and what it is that you are interested. If you present yourself alone, your mom will have to talk to you about you - not you and your twin. It will be a good opportunity for you to say exactly what you're thinking. And it's a good chance for your twin to have a moment, too.

 

When you talk with your mom, give her some examples of what you want to have happen. Do you want to get your own room? If there are enough rooms in the house, suggest that summer is a perfect time to move rooms. Or, if there aren't enough rooms, maybe you can each decorate your side with things that you love so you don't feel like you're living in a "twin area."

 

And what about clothes and summer camp? It's ok to dress differently and to want to go to the basketball summer camp if that's what you're good at. But your sister may want to do tennis. Talk to your mom about what you enjoy and offer some ways to make those things happen. It's all about staying calm and doing your research.

 

I think you're going to do great - let me know what your mom says and remember that this is probably going to be an ongoing conversation with your mom and your twin. Even if your mom is all about having you two be individuals, she might need some gentle reminding every once in a while. After all, she's been doing the twin thing as long as you have!

 

Good luck!
xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

The Truth About Video Games

I'm terrible at most video games, although I have to say I totally rock Guitar Hero. I can't get enough of that. My sister has Rock Band and since we don't live in the same city, I haven't played yet, but I can't wait to get my hands on those drumsticks.

There's a new book out called Grand Theft Childhood that talks about the real effects of video games on kids. I think it's interesting because I know a lot of parents worry that violent video games are making kids violent but this author says it's not true. Here's the part where I am supposed to say what I think...but the truth is, I don't really have a lot of experience with video games so I'm still figuring out what I think about them in general. My husband LOVES (yes, the whole word is capitalized) video games but he's also a really balanced person and understands the difference between the real world and the world of gaming. So maybe that's the risk. That when you're really young, you can't decipher between the two worlds?

With the new Grand Theft Auto game just out (I can't even escape all the ads everywhere - they've spent a fortune advertising it) this book is pretty timely.

I'd love to hear what you think. Do you think video games are scapegoats for violent acts? Or do you think violent video games should be banned?

Financially Savvy Teens are Taking Over

The economy is tanking. Not to sound depressing or anything, but gas is a freaking fortune and milk for my beloved Quaker Oatmeal Squares is ridiculously expense. (Note: If you haven't tried Oatmeal Squares, then you should. They come in a blue box.)

I find is particularly interesting that in this time of financial worry, there are so many articles on parents talking to their teens about money. It shows that money is a big concern for people right now and I think it's a good thing for you to learn some financial tricks now, because soon you'll be in college and at some point you will be faced with the decision how to spend the last $15 in your wallet--buying a book for a class or ordering pizza. (I was there more often than I like to admit and while I usually went for the book, I did order pizza a few times.) Here are my favorite articles and a few tidbits of advice from them:

• The Deseret News (Salt Lake City) this article is the best one I read...It says, a recent Charles "Schwab survey showed that 71 percent of parents think the best way for teens to learn about money is from guided, hands-on experience or from a parent's example, but few involve their teens in family budgeting and spending decisions. In fact, the survey said parents were more likely to teach their teens how to do laundry (70 percent) and how to cook (68 percent) than how to regularly save money (54 percent), how to budget money (49 percent) and how to pay bills (43 percent)." Basically, your parents want you to understand money but aren't giving you a real chance to learn about it. You should definitely be more involved, even if it's just by an occasional trip to the grocery store to see how much your fam's food costs.
• Omaha World-Herald has great advice that gives teens a little more control over what they're learning financially. "Give children the opportunity to make financial decisions with a little guidance at first, said Kay Kruger, a teacher at Gordon-Rushville High School." I love this because if you're earning money at a summer job or something, you should have a say in how you spend it. Not to mention, you're the one who's stuck penniless when the money's gone!
• The Statesman (in India! - even other country's are teaching their kids about cash) This article is all about pocket money and allowances and how much is enough. I'm fascinated that it's basically the same discussion as you would find in your hometown.
• The Akron Beacon Journal (Ohio) says to "involve your teenagers in devising a plan to save for their college fund." This is a good one because your parents probably talk to you so much about getting into a good college that you might as well look at not only what grades you have to have, but what kind of cash, when you're deciding where you really want to go. I mean, hey, you're involved in every other step of the college application process. Starting to create a financial plan should be part of it.

What's the best financial advice you're ever gotten? Are you good with money or does it burn holes in your pocket?

The Secret Lives of Teenagers

Whenever I read a headline that says something like "The Secret Lives of Teenagers," I'm tempted to roll my eyes a little. Not because I don't think teenagers have secrets, but because usually a headline this is an attempt to dramatize the bad decisions of a few teenagers and makes parents panics that their totally normal teenager is on drugs or something like that. The truth is, most teenagers are pretty good kids and it drives me crazy how they can get a generalized bad rap in media.

Anyway, I was thinking all these things when I saw this article titled The Secret Lives of Teenagers (of course). But, I was happily surprised when I started reading it.

Even though the article starts off saying that communication is a problem between parents and teens (hello, that why I wrote my book!), it actually has some very promising and comforting stats.

A few highlights:

• The study shows that more than 70 per cent of teenagers think their parents accept them as they are, sense when they are upset, understand what they are going through, respect their feelings and trust their judgment. (That's a huge number! Way to go to all those parents who inspire that kind of trust from their teenagers.)
• Teenagers are not always likely to confide in parents, with only around 50 per cent saying they "almost always" or "often" talk with parents about troubles or difficulties. (The truth is, you don't have to confide everything in your parents. Yes, they need to know the basics, but sometimes it's ok to process things on your own before you talk to a friend or parent. And usually, after you've given yourself some time to think about things in your own mind, you can find your own solution. I would just say that when something dangerous or scary is happening, this is definitely a time to talk to your mom or dad.)

Really, teenagers today are smart, thoughtful, and generally have good heads on their shoulders. You guys pretty much rock. Now, if we can just spread the word to major media... (I'm working on it.)

Behind the Scenes on Book Tour

I have settled back home after being out on the road for 2 weeks. It's great to be back home sleeping in my bed and waking up at a decent hour, but I kind of miss being out doing events and meeting people. So, I thought I would share some highlights from a few cities since things got so crazy I didn't have time to finish blogging about all the events.

SAN FRANCISCO (May 6, 2008)
I love San Francisco. It's one of those cities that has such amazing energy and a really good vibe.

The first stop was the book club at Capuchino High School in San Bruno, just a few minutes from the San Francisco airport. My mom and I couldn't find the actual entrance to the school (it's one of those great multi-level CA schools with tons of outdoor space) so we actually got there about 5 minutes late.

Lucky for me, the girls were really cool. We talked for over an hour about everything from dealing with parents when it comes to getting a summer job to what it's like to write a book. The teacher who runs the book club made homemade scones and hot chocolate and the event ended up being a super fun gab session. It was definitely one of the highlights from the road.

After book club, my mom and I went back to the hotel and completely crashed. We had to wake up at 3:00am in the morning in order to catch our 6:00am flight, so we were beat. But a few hours in bed with the blackout curtains drawn, and we were good as new.

Next stop was ABC-TV and their local show The View from the Bay. (See that white plastic bag in my hand? That was lunch - BLTs from the diner around the corner. Yum!) I was lucky and got to do a bunch of local TV shows while I was in different cities, but this one was a highlight. The hosts were really fun and real - I could tell they really wanted to have fun with the book but also get some useful info out there.

We wrapped up the day with a Mother-Daughter pizza party at Towne Center Books in Pleasanton. Pleasanton had one of the cutest main streets I've ever seen...little sandwich shops, boutiques, a nail salon and of course, what main street is complete with a book store? Towne Center Books is the heart of the town and I met so many cool teens and their moms. And Judy made homemade brownies which definitely hit the spot after a busy day!

Next stop...hot and sunny Phoenix.

 

My interview with the Seattle Post-Intelligencer

While I was on book tour, I got to speak to a bunch of high school and junior high students in all different cities about how to deal with their parents. Let me just say, these were by far the best events I did. The teenagers had the best questions and we had really good talks. They basically became like chat sessions instead of lectures. (Which is by far how I prefer them. Who wants to just sit and listen to some random person talk for an hour?)

At one school just outside of Seattle, a reporter and photographer came with me and took pictures while I talked. I'm usually pretty calm under pressure, but seriously, having a reporter take your picture while you're speaking is so nerve-wracking! Anyway, the article turned out great - it ran last Friday in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

One quick story, I actually drove out to the event with the reporter, a super nice guy named Paul Nyhan. (He really is one of the most genuinely nice reporters I've ever met.) He wanted us to have time to talk before I actually started speaking at the school, because I wasn't going to be able to answer his questions then, you know? So, anyway, he picked me up at my hotel and we started driving. But after 3 minutes in the car, he turned to me and said, "Do you want to drive?"

I need to explain a little something here. I am an excellent driver. Really, only one accident in 13 years of having my license. But...that being said, I don't have a car. I live in New York City and we don't drive anywhere. So it's been years since I've driven a lot. I only drive when we go on vacation and even then, Grant usually drives. (I prefer to sit shotgun and rule the radio.)

So, when Paul asked me to drive I started to laugh a little. I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. He needed to take notes, he said, and couldn't do it while he was driving. And then he pulled over so we could trade spots!

I thought I might start to hyperventilate. Not only was I going to drive a reporter (who was in the process of interviewing me) but I was going to drive HIS car in a city I wasn't that familiar with. Waaaaa! I tried to keep my cool. I put my seatbelt on, adjusted the mirror and went for it. And you know what, it all turned out ok. We got to the school in one piece. But I swear, when we finally parked, it was like I could breathe again. Thank goodness I didn't wreck his car!!

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
My best friend broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and he just asked our other friend to go out with him. And our other friend said yes! So my one friend is all upset that she's betraying her friendship and the other friend says she really likes the guy but how can she if he was with our other friend for so long? I'm stuck in the middle and I don't want to pick sides. What should I do?

- Mia

Sarah Says:
Dear Mia,
Feeling stuck in the middle of two friends is a terrible feeling - especially because you care about both friends and it's hard to see them fight. Not wanting to pick sides is definitely the right way to go - this is a problem between your two friends and doesn't involve you. You're smart to stay out of it.

That being said, both friends might be trying to drag you into it by talking about the other friend behind her back or asking you to be the go-between. Try to avoid any gossiping and if you get stuck in a situation where you feel like you're getting pulled into it, stop the conversation. You can do this by saying something flat out, like, "I don't know - I don't want to get in the middle," or you can divert the conversation by sending a text to another friend about something totally different or suggesting that the two of you go do something like see a movie. Sometimes a diversion is the best tactic because it changes the direction of the conversation completely.

I can tell you're a good friend just by your email. I know it's hard when friendships go through rough times but you can do it. If one of your friend's pushes you to side against the other, remind her that you're there for her, but that you can be a good friend to both of them.

Good luck!

xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Internet Voting for...Haircuts?

When I was in high school my dad said to me (more than once), "If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you jump off, too?"

Aside from the fact that this is a total cliche, it's not a very good way to demonstrate peer pressure. At least I don't think so. Would I jump off a cliff? No. Get my belly button pierced? Maybe. I was (and still am) enough of my own person to decide what I wanted to do, whether or not someone else was doing it. (Don't worry, Dad - I'm as stubborn as ever!)

Anyway, I was taken back to those conversations with my Dad when I read this story about a beauty blogger who really did do what everyone told her to. She asked everyone on her blog whether or not she should cut bangs - they voted yes - and she's going to do it.

Now, I personally think she'll look cute with bangs, but I don't think I'd ever let total strangers decide something like that for me. Unless I really didn't care one way or the other. What about you? Would you let people vote, American Idol-style, on something in your life?

On the Road Again

It's sunny in Seattle and I feel so lucky. I lived in Bellevue growing up (the city right across the bridge from Seattle) and it's not sunny very often. I think the book tour gods are being nice to me.

Yesterday was a blast with 2 events in the Seattle area. The first was at Fort Lewis - an army base about 45 minutes from the airport. And it was incredible. I got to meet parents and teenagers who are sacrificing so much to help our country. There were 2 cute soldiers who had 12 year old daughters that stopped by to get books and I even had a few moms get books for their sons. (I told them to apologize for me that the cover is pink but that the info would definitely be helpful!) The base itself was amazing - basically a huge city. I actually had quite an experience getting on. My mom and I drove to the wrong entrance and the guards wouldn't let us in (of course) and then I went the wrong way trying to turn around and the guard starting hollering at us (by this time he had our IDs). Anyway, we finally got to the right entrance and met the event coordinators (Sheree and Mandy) who were so wonderful. The whole thing was a blast!

Next on the agenda was a Borders bookstore in Redmond. We drove straight there from the base and I was a little worried we wouldn't have a soul at the event. But I was wrong. Not only were there some cool moms and teens that I had never met before, but my fourth grade teacher showed up! She was one of my absolute favorite teachers growing up - I learned my times tables and most of my vocabulary from her. It was really touching to have her there. My friend Kayte Gyles and her parents were also there--they were in town running some errands and they made time to come by! It was great to see them. Then, mid-event (I usually say a few words at the beginning and then sign), all of these people from my childhood started showing up. It was unreal - old friends of my parents, old friends of mine. I have never felt so loved and so appreciative to have such amazing people in my life. It was a wonderful event. I think most of all because I realized how lucky I am to know so many incredible people. They've really made me who I am (well, the good parts anyway) and it was beyond great to have a few hours with them.

One more day in Seattle and then on to San Francisco and Phoenix!

The Alterna-Kid according to the Boston Globe

In my book How to Raise Your Parents, the first chapter features parent profiles. You know, The Hippie, The Teen Wannabe, The Sibling Activist, and so on. The idea is that you have to figure out what kind of parent you have before you can start raising them.

So, I thought it was really funny when I found this Boston Globe article that profiles different kinds of kids. They have The Sporty Kid and The Fantasy Kid and most of them are about elementary school kids. But one, The Alterna-Kid, is about teenagers.

The writer, who apparently has at least one teenager, describes this "fringe-dwelling" teenager who hates the Gap. Maybe I should create a list of teen profiles. What kind of teen are you?

Book Tour Buzz

I'm out on the road, in Salt Lake City right now, and I leave for Seattle early tomorrow morning. It's been a total whirlwind so far and I'm loving every second of it.

My first tour event was in Dayton, Ohio, at Books & Co. - a famously rocking bookstore for hosting great events and selling a TON of books! I know the event coordinator, the talented Sharon Kelly Roth, and it was really fun to hang out with her for a few minutes before the event started. Once I got to the event space, I was happy to see the three people who came to hear me talk. (I know what you're thinking - three people? - but as a new author in a town where you don't know a soul - three is totally thrilling.) The three women were awesome and the event ended up being a girls night out style chat with everyone talking about being a teenager or having teenagers. I just wish I would've brought some refreshments and my pillow!

Next stop - Salt Lake City - my old high school stomping ground and where my family lives now. I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when my plane landed on Thursday morning. There really is no place like home. I didn't spend much time actually at home though. Thursday night was a great event at The King's English - a really amazing indy bookstore - one of the top in the country. Not only did I get to see old friends and meet some new ones, I also met a teen book blogger I've been emailing with - the girl behind Squeaky Books! She was so sweet to come all the way to the event and I loved meeting her. You know, that's my favorite part of the tour so far - meeting cool teenagers and parents and other writers. I feel super lucky.

I finished the week off with some local media (Good Things Utah on ABC-TV, The Todd & Erin Show on B98.7, KCPW's Midday Metro, and a few other hits) and a great event at the Salt Lake City library in Millcreek. (That event was super fun - I LOVE libraries and librarians. I think I might be a librarian in my next life.)

Tomorrow I head to Seattle and I'll be posting a few pics of those events later this week, along with pics from my stops in San Francisco, Phoenix, and Los Angeles. Hope to see you there!

Teens Help City Council Plan a City's Future

If you've ever wondered whether you can really make a difference in the world, here's your answer...YOU CAN!

I just read this article about a city in Illinois (Peoria) that had teenagers help the city council decide what changes and plans they should make. The planning commissioner told the high school students, "It's going to be your city 20 years from now."

So, a group of local high school kids met with the city council and voiced their opinions on everything from parks and safety to teen night clubs. They're even creating a city Facebook page. (How funny is it that some of the adults didn't even know what Facebook is? They're lucky to have these teens helping!)

If you had the chance to talk to your city council what would you tell them? What would you change?

Should 16 year-olds get the Right to Vote?

I've always thought that if teenagers can drive a car when they're 16, they definitely should have the right to voice their opinion when it comes to government. So, when I read this op-ed piece arguing that teenagers should be heading to the ballot box, I was pretty much on board.

I especially love how this writer creates some basic framework so that teenagers would have to get educated about politics before just casting a random vote. It makes complete sense to me. Here's what she says: "16-year-olds who want to start voting should be able to obtain an “early voting permit” from their high schools upon passing a simple civics course similar to the citizenship test. Besides increasing voter registration, this system would reinforce the notion of voting as a privilege and duty as well as a right — without imposing any across-the-board literacy tests for those over 18."

I turned 18 my senior year of high school and got to vote in a local election. I read about the candidates and issues (many of which would directly impact me since they were about local roads and zoning for stores, etc.) and talked out my thoughts with my parents. When I got to the voting station and handed over my ID, I had this feeling like, "Wow. I'm really an adult." It was incredibly empowering.

There's so much passion and dedication among teenagers. I really think it would only be a good thing if 16-year-olds got to voice their opinions through voting. Sure, there are a lot of issues that teens might not understand, but honestly, there are a lot of issues in the campaigns that I don't understand and I read the newspaper and watch the news everyday. Am I that different from the rest of the country? You just do your best to wade through it and make the best decision. Teens are definitely up for that.

Agree? Disagree? Have you already voted or is this your first election? Let me know!

My Book Tour Starts Today!

This morning I got up at the crack of dawn (literally the crack) to fly out to Cincinnati/Dayton for the first stop on my book tour. Check out the schedule below to see if I'm coming to your city. And if I am - you should stop by because I would LOVE to see you!

Oh, did I mention that my mom is going to come with me to a few cities? How fun is that?!

DAYTON, OH - Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Books & Co.
For more information, call: 937-429-2169
or visit: Books & Co.

SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Thursday, May 1, 2008 @ 7:00pm
The King's English
1519 S. 1500 E.
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
For more information, call: 801-466-5151
or visit: The King's English

SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Saturday, May 3, 2008 @ 11:00am
East Millcreek Library
2266 Evergreen Ave.
Salt Lake City, UT 84109
For more information, call: 801-944-7622
or visit: Go City Kids

SEATTLE, WA - Sunday, May 4 @ 12:00pm
Ft. Lewis - Military Base
Building 5280 Pendelton Avenue
Ft. Lewis, WA 98433
(near Seattle)

REDMOND, WA - Sunday, May 4, 2008 @ 3:00pm
Borders
16549 NE 74th Street
Redmond, WA 98052
For more information, call: 425-869-1907
or visit: Borders in Redmond

SEATTLE, WA - Monday, May 5, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Third Place Books
17171 Bothell Way NE
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155
For more information, call: 206-366-3316
or visit: Third Place Books

SAN FRANCISCO / PLEASANTON, CA - Tuesday, May 6, 2008 @ 6:30pm
Towne Center Books (Mother/Daughter Pizza Party!)
555 Main Street
Pleasanton, CA 94566
For more information, call: 925-846-8826
or visit: Towne Center Books

PHOENIX, AZ - Wednesday, May 7, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Changing Hands
6428 S. McClintock Dr.
Tempe, AZ 85283
For more information, call: 480-730-1142
or visit: Changing Hands

LOS ANGELES, CA - Thursday, May 8, 2008 @ 7:00pm
Book Soup
8818 Sunset Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069
For more information, call: 310-659-3684
or visit: BookSoup

GREENWICH, CT - Monday, May 12, 2008 - 2 Events
Parents Together Group Meeting @ 9:00am
For more information, visit: Greenwich Schools 

Just Books & Arcadia Coffee Company, Mother & Daughter Dinner/Book Talk @ TIME TK
28 Arcadia Road
Old Greenwich, CT 06870
For more information, call: 203-637-0707
or visit: Just Books

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
Prom is in 2 weeks and my parents are making me come home at midnight. That's my regular curfew! Everyone else is staying at this girl's cabin and they won't let me. How can I get them to let me go?

- Ellie

Sarah Says:
Dear Ellie,
Prom is definitely a special occasion so I can understand why you're upset that your parents won't at least extend your curfew. But you still have two weeks and that's plenty of time to try and work out a compromise with them.

Do they know the guy who asked you? If not, then the first thing you should do is introduce them. Have the guy meet you at your house before you go hang out or study so you can casually have him meet your parents (no pressure on them or him). For parents, knowing who their daughter is going to be hanging out with all night is a big deal. It's part of the trust issue.

Once they've met the guy and can see that he's decent (he is, right? If not, you can definitely get a better date!), you need to sit down for a heart-to-heart. Lay out exactly what your prom plans are - what time you'd get picked up, where you'd go to dinner, and who would be in your group. Ask them why they don't want to give you a later curfew? Is it because they don't want you going to the cabin? Or because they're worried about you driving so late? Figure it out so you can address their concerns directly.

Then, suggest some alternatives. Maybe you can go to the cabin for a few hours and they'd be willing to pick you up. I know that's not staying but at least you'd get some chill time. Or maybe they'd at least give you an extra hour if you offer to help them out with some extra chores. Offer to trade - after all, this is important to you!

I hope that gives you a few ideas. If you still don't get anywhere, this might be one of those situations when you resort to begging, but I think your parents will listen to you if you keep cool and are willing to compromise.

I hope you have a great time at prom! Let me know how it goes.
xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Cameras installed to watch teen drivers

If my dad could've, he would've installed a GPS chip in my arm when I was a teenager. He also liked teasing me that he kept track of the car mileage so he knew how far I was driving every time I borrowed his car. But I knew he was just razzing me. It was kind of the same thing with the GPS, but only kind of. There's part of him that really would've tried to do it if he could've. You know...parents get worried. They (and you) can't help it.

So I shouldn't be surprised that there's a new insurance program being tested that installs cameras in the cars of teenagers to watch them and make sure they're driving safely. It grades the videos for riskiness and then sends the video back to parents.

I'm a little wierded out by cameras in general. I just don't like the idea of people being able to see me re-tuck my shirt while I'm in the elevator (or pick my wedgie) but I've never been in a car with a camera. My brother-in-law has a back-up camera. Similar, only in these cases, the camera is turned to look inside the car, too.

So far, the study reports that "teen drivers participating in the program have had far fewer crashes and injury accidents than would have been expected based on national driving statistics. It also says driving risk scores measured in the recordings dropped an average 80 percent during the first 16 weeks."

Those are impressive results but I'm willing to bet that you could get the same ones just with the threat of a camera (my dad's GPS idea, while impossible, drove the message home for me). It was expected that if I got to drive, I would be a safe driver. And all those hours practicing with my dad in the passenger seat were helpful when it came to being safe. It will be interesting to see if parents really do put cameras in their cars. I don't think mine would've, but I'm not sure. And would I? I don't think so - not unless there had been accidents and tickets that warranted it. I think as long as you've earned, and keep, your parents trust, no cameras are necessary. I was a good driver. My sister Annie on the other hand? She might have gotten a camera installed. (Sorry, Annie!)

What do you think? How would you feel about a camera in your car? Do you think your parents would install one? Why or why not?

The Today Show!!

It was so amazing to be on the Today Show yesterday. The day started when the town car picked up me, my mom, and Grant and drove us down to Rockefeller Center. After getting settled in the greenroom (Grant was even more nervous than I was!) the producer took me down to get my makeup and hair done. (I wish I could do that every single morning. It's amazing what the hairdresser could do with my stick straight hair and it was heaven having someone do my makeup!) And then it was just a few minutes before I walked on to the set, got miked, and started talking with Ann Curry and Michele Borba.

What a whirlwind! It was really wonderful. Every minute of it. My mom took a bunch of pictures and when I figure out her camera (I swear, sometimes I think they make cameras hard to work on purpose) I'll post them. But for the time being, here's the segment...Enjoy!

Girl Worth Getting to Know - Kayte Gyles

I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world because I get to meet some really, really cool teenagers - and 18-year-old Kayte Gyles is one of them.

I met Kayte and her parents when they were in New York last month visiting from British Columbia, Canada. If you met Kaye today, you would be impressed with her sense of humor and boundless energy, that fact that she's a competitive curler, and how much she loves her dog. But what you wouldn't know is that Kayte is also a cancer survivor and she's about to shave her head again, this time to help other people dealing with cancer.

We had so much fun hanging out and Kayte is such an incredible person, that I wanted you all to get to know her, too.

SB: Even though you look great with a shaved head, you didn't do it for a fashion statement (at least not at first!). Tell us why you did it.
KG: Well, I went bald for the first time last year when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was diagnosed twenty days before my seventeenth birthday and my chemotherapy caused me to lose my hair. I actually ended up shaving my head the day after my birthday because I wanted some control over the cancer.

Now, I’m going bald for a second time. It’s been nine months since my last chemotherapy and I have some hair, not a lot. I’m going to be shaving it on April 26th (that's tomorrow!) for a fund raiser called Balding for Dollars. (Donate to support Kayte and her cancer awareness efforts!) It’s an amazing organization that does so many great things! Balding For Dollars helps families who financially struggle with all the extras. They hold teen adventure camps where we can just be ourselves and be comfortable with who we are. They have great camps for the younger children and for their families and they have started a teen support group that meets once a month. I can personally say that its one of the greatest things ever!

SB: It's pretty cool that you're out there raising money and awareness for other people. How else do you keep busy?
KG: Well, when I’m not bugging friends or family to donate, or help out with something cancer related, you can find me either on a curling rink or curled up on my couch with my laptop and my dog, Willow, writing. Sometimes I am out with my camera because I love photography!

SB: What was your first thought after your own cancer diagnosis?
KG: Well, my first thought when they told me that I had cancer was along the lines of, Oh S*#@!  But honestly, I wasn’t shocked. I’ve always been a kid who hasn’t been too healthy and there was always a part of me that thought one day I might have cancer, and it turned out, I was right!

SB: How do you think having cancer changed your relationship with your parents?
KG: My parents and I have always been really close, but cancer definitely made us closer. I became a child again and the things that were usually considered pretty easy definitely weren’t for me. My mom had to help me change, shower, and there was a time she even had to help me shave my armpits! Then when my mom wasn’t around my dad would have to help me walk back and forth from the bathroom and any sense of privacy was definitely lost.

SB: Tell us a little about competitive curling. (Kayte's quite an athlete.) How did you first get into it?
KG: I started curling five years ago when my parents told me that they wanted me to do something physical and they thought I would love curling. I personally wanted nothing to do with it! I thought curling was only for nerds and at the time I didn’t want to admit that I truly was a nerd. (SB: For the record, nerds are cool.)

Beginning curling was not a very fun experience for me! I was awful and there were some days that I wanted to quit and I even had a few coaches tell me that I should, but that’s what gave me the drive to do better. By Christmas, I was absolutely in love with the sport and all my presents had something to do with curling.

In these past five years, my team and I have gone to 3 provincial championships and curling is definitely a dream that will never die for me. Curling is my number one passion and I know that one day I will be representing Canada in the Olympics!

SB: Since this is an interview for RaiseYourParents.com do you have any great tips for dealing with parents in general?
KG: Honestly, I’ve never really had problems with my parents. I’m an only child and from the get go we’ve always treated each other with respect. The worst thing I have ever done as a child is get cancer and that wasn’t even my fault. I never gave my parents a reason not to like me and in return my parents have never given me a reason to rebel against them. I think it all comes down to trust and respect and understanding of each other.

SB: You're a senior this year, what are your plans for next year?
KG: I’m taking a semester off to curl competitively and then I’ll be starting school in the New Year and majoring in creative writing at a local college.

SB: If you had to choose what you wanted to do for the rest of your life right this minute, what would you choose and why?
KG: That’s a really great question and I think I’d choose to be a writer. I’ve been telling stories since I was a child and being an author has always been something that I’ve dreamed of. My dream and goal is to be an award-winning author!

SB: Ahhh, you're a writer. Without giving away any specifics, can you tell us if you're writing anything now?
KG: Right now I’m working on a novel about my journey through cancer. It’s to raise awareness about teens and cancer and to also show that cancer isn’t something everyone dies from. Its something that looked at, the right way can be a huge life lesson.

SB: Anything else we should all know about Kayte Gyles?
KG: I’m insanely sarcastic, a total dreamer and my imagination is my best friend.

Want to support Kayte and Balding for Dollars? Donate here!

Should School Start Later?...Teens Need Their Sleep

My high school started at 7:30am. Every morning. Every weekday. It was excruciating.

Looking back, I have no idea how I managed to ever show up to my homeroom class on time. Not to mention all the days I went to early assemblies and school council meetings and had to get their at the ungodly hour of 6:30am.

Nowadays, I wake up at 7:30am. That's what time my alarm goes off, not the time I am supposed to be at my first meeting. (No, I don't go to the gym in the mornings - I really, really value my sleep.)

So, you can imagine how happy I was to read that some schools are considering moving start times to a little later and more reasonable time of day (i.e. nearer to 9:00am instead of 7:00am). Of course, this means that students will be in school later in the afternoon and I used to treasure those free afternoons when the adults of the world were still at work...but you can't have everything.

Do you like the early rise-and-shine schedule of most schools or would you rather get an extra hour of shut-eye every night? You know what I would vote for...