Sarah Burningham: How to Raise Your Parents

Random Articles Found by my Husband, Grant

One of my favorite things about my husband is the fact that he can find anything online. And I mean anything. Like the time he saw Cinderella Man and within 20 minutes of getting home, had researched the complete history of the guy Russell Crowe's character is based on. And the best part is that after he finds this stuff, he remembers it. He's a walking encyclopedia of random information.

I find all sorts of quizzical iTunes podcasts and songs by artists barely anyone has ever heard of on our computer every day. And sometimes he saves articles he thinks are particularly bizzare in our browser's bookmarks. I just found this one about the 9 things that might kill you (if they actually exist) yesterday and it's one my favorites. The Mongolian Death Worm? If that's not enough to keep you awake at night, I don't know what is. But don't thank me, thank Grant!

Fingernails as Fashion

There's a Banana Republic about 2 blocks away from my office and I walk by it every night on my way home. I wish there was a flashing red sign outside the door that said "Danger, danger" everytime I got close. I think they have such cute stuff.

So recently, when I stopped in after work (just to look, I swear!) I saw this girl behind the counter with these unbelievably long, totally designed fake nails. I was fascinated. She had to use her knuckles to enter numbers on the register and basically had to use the palms of both hands to pick up the phone. But she had it down to a science and was managing to answer the phone and ring someone up at the same time. I was so impressed I asked if I could photograph her nails. I had to give this girl credit--I, for one, could never manage nails like that. I am constantly fiddling with my hands and those fake nails would be off by the end of one phone call with my friend Kathy. 

But maybe I'm the only one who can't manage these new-fangled fingers. After I saw the girl in the store, I found this video of an actual Fingernail Fashion Competition in Japan that is basically like a fashion show/miss america for fingernails. (Could I make this up?) Even after watching I think the most you'll see me in is bright pink for summer.

One Pose Per Second. How many can you come up with?

I love super-creative YouTube videos and this one, featuring writer/performance artist Miranda July, is bizarrely captivating. (A lot of people have a love-hate relationship with Miranda July but after this video I'm more inclined to love.) She moves her body, doing a pose a second, to a new Blonde Redhead song. But the best part is the mock video someone made with a kitty cat doing a sort-of pose a second.

I figure that if Ms. July is really posing once per second, then she poses a total of 212 times for the entire song. But I don't have the patience to actually count. If you do, let me know!

Ask Sarah B - You Ask, I Answer - Questions from Real Teenagers

Here's your weekly Ask Sarah B sesh. Remember if you want to ask a question and get some advice, you can email me at: AskSarahB@gmail.com

Question:
My best friend broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago and he just asked our other friend to go out with him. And our other friend said yes! So my one friend is all upset that she's betraying her friendship and the other friend says she really likes the guy but how can she if he was with our other friend for so long? I'm stuck in the middle and I don't want to pick sides. What should I do?

- Mia

Sarah Says:
Dear Mia,
Feeling stuck in the middle of two friends is a terrible feeling - especially because you care about both friends and it's hard to see them fight. Not wanting to pick sides is definitely the right way to go - this is a problem between your two friends and doesn't involve you. You're smart to stay out of it.

That being said, both friends might be trying to drag you into it by talking about the other friend behind her back or asking you to be the go-between. Try to avoid any gossiping and if you get stuck in a situation where you feel like you're getting pulled into it, stop the conversation. You can do this by saying something flat out, like, "I don't know - I don't want to get in the middle," or you can divert the conversation by sending a text to another friend about something totally different or suggesting that the two of you go do something like see a movie. Sometimes a diversion is the best tactic because it changes the direction of the conversation completely.

I can tell you're a good friend just by your email. I know it's hard when friendships go through rough times but you can do it. If one of your friend's pushes you to side against the other, remind her that you're there for her, but that you can be a good friend to both of them.

Good luck!

xoxo
Sarah B

**Note: the names of all teenagers in the "Ask Sarah B" section have been changed to protect individual's privacy

Internet Voting for...Haircuts?

When I was in high school my dad said to me (more than once), "If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you jump off, too?"

Aside from the fact that this is a total cliche, it's not a very good way to demonstrate peer pressure. At least I don't think so. Would I jump off a cliff? No. Get my belly button pierced? Maybe. I was (and still am) enough of my own person to decide what I wanted to do, whether or not someone else was doing it. (Don't worry, Dad - I'm as stubborn as ever!)

Anyway, I was taken back to those conversations with my Dad when I read this story about a beauty blogger who really did do what everyone told her to. She asked everyone on her blog whether or not she should cut bangs - they voted yes - and she's going to do it.

Now, I personally think she'll look cute with bangs, but I don't think I'd ever let total strangers decide something like that for me. Unless I really didn't care one way or the other. What about you? Would you let people vote, American Idol-style, on something in your life?

Mother's Day is Tomorrow

Don't forget to thank your mom tomorrow for all the things she does for you, like:

• Giving birth to you (this one is major)
• All the times she's made your lunch (peanut butter and jelly always tastes better when she makes it)
• Those early mornings she dropped you off at school because you didn't want to ride the bus
• The time she left a major meeting at work to make it to your semi-final soccer game (she probably didn't tell you she left the meeting, but chances are it happened)
• How she always gives up her cell minutes on the family plan because you're about to go over
• How, even when you're in a really bad mood, she still loves you

Don't worry about getting some expensive gift or lotion for mom. The truth is, even though she could always use a little more lotion, she didn't become a mom to get a paycheck. She just wants to hear that you love and appreciate her. So get a card, write it all down, and tomorrow morning give her a big hug. She deserves it.

Be sure to check out some more Mother's Day advice in my interview with the Los Angeles Times education writer (article to come) but here's a blog entry from our interview yesterday.

Indiana Jones Makes for a Great Date

When I was in high school, I figured out that the Indiana Jones movies were the perfect date movies. They weren't too over-the-top macho but guys still liked them, and they were interesting enough to keep me tuned in, even after watching them a few times. (i.e. reruns with various dates. I tried this on quite a few guys.)

So, you can imagine how stoked (remember how I'm bringing that word back?) I am for the new Indiana Jones movie. I'm going to drag Grant to it opening night!

It's just starting to get press. Entertainment Weekly had a Q&A with Harrison Ford and The Arizona Republic had this article about "the good old days" when Indy was fresh and new. I think Harrison Ford is still going to make a pretty good Indiana Jones. It wouldn't be the same without him.

Anyway, before the new one comes out, put my date theory to the test and rent the first three with your crush. Make some popcorn, get some diet coke (my soda of choice) and see if you don't both have a good time.

What I'm Reading While on Book Tour

I've been spending a lot of time on planes over the last two weeks - which means I've been taking a lot of catnaps and reading. What, you might ask, does an author read while on book tour? The answer is this: just about everything. But here's what I've been devouring...

Chalked Up by Jennifer Sey - I've had a chance to work with this author (for the record, she's amazing) and I love, love, love her book. I never even did gymnastics and I was riveted by the behind-the-scenes stories of semi-abusive coaching and over-zealous parents. This is a must read.

The Meaning of Night by Michael Cox - this is one that I'm reading for my book club. It's a really intense mystery and I'm only half way through so I'm dying to get to the end!

How to Be Popular by Meg Cabot Oh, Meg Cabot, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Loving this book and I love this author. Can't say enough good things about her.

On the Road Again

It's sunny in Seattle and I feel so lucky. I lived in Bellevue growing up (the city right across the bridge from Seattle) and it's not sunny very often. I think the book tour gods are being nice to me.

Yesterday was a blast with 2 events in the Seattle area. The first was at Fort Lewis - an army base about 45 minutes from the airport. And it was incredible. I got to meet parents and teenagers who are sacrificing so much to help our country. There were 2 cute soldiers who had 12 year old daughters that stopped by to get books and I even had a few moms get books for their sons. (I told them to apologize for me that the cover is pink but that the info would definitely be helpful!) The base itself was amazing - basically a huge city. I actually had quite an experience getting on. My mom and I drove to the wrong entrance and the guards wouldn't let us in (of course) and then I went the wrong way trying to turn around and the guard starting hollering at us (by this time he had our IDs). Anyway, we finally got to the right entrance and met the event coordinators (Sheree and Mandy) who were so wonderful. The whole thing was a blast!

Next on the agenda was a Borders bookstore in Redmond. We drove straight there from the base and I was a little worried we wouldn't have a soul at the event. But I was wrong. Not only were there some cool moms and teens that I had never met before, but my fourth grade teacher showed up! She was one of my absolute favorite teachers growing up - I learned my times tables and most of my vocabulary from her. It was really touching to have her there. My friend Kayte Gyles and her parents were also there--they were in town running some errands and they made time to come by! It was great to see them. Then, mid-event (I usually say a few words at the beginning and then sign), all of these people from my childhood started showing up. It was unreal - old friends of my parents, old friends of mine. I have never felt so loved and so appreciative to have such amazing people in my life. It was a wonderful event. I think most of all because I realized how lucky I am to know so many incredible people. They've really made me who I am (well, the good parts anyway) and it was beyond great to have a few hours with them.

One more day in Seattle and then on to San Francisco and Phoenix!

The Alterna-Kid according to the Boston Globe

In my book How to Raise Your Parents, the first chapter features parent profiles. You know, The Hippie, The Teen Wannabe, The Sibling Activist, and so on. The idea is that you have to figure out what kind of parent you have before you can start raising them.

So, I thought it was really funny when I found this Boston Globe article that profiles different kinds of kids. They have The Sporty Kid and The Fantasy Kid and most of them are about elementary school kids. But one, The Alterna-Kid, is about teenagers.

The writer, who apparently has at least one teenager, describes this "fringe-dwelling" teenager who hates the Gap. Maybe I should create a list of teen profiles. What kind of teen are you?